After the Quake, All God's Children Can Dance
Super-Frog Saves Tokyo
Super-Frog Saves Tokyo
by MURAKAMI Haruki
translated by Jay Rubin
Katagiri found a giant frog waiting for him in his apartment. It was
powerfully built, standing over six feet tall on its hind legs. A
skinny little man no more than five foot three, Katagiri was
overwhelmed by the frog’s imposing bulk.
“Call me ‘Frog,’” said the frog in a clear, strong voice.
Katagiri stood rooted in the doorway, unable to speak.
“Don’t be afraid. I’m not here to hurt you. Just come and close the
door. Please.”
Briefcase in his right hand, grocery bag with fresh vegetables and
canned salmon cradled in his left arm, Katagiri didn’t dare move.
“Please, Mr. Katagiri, hurry and close the door, and take off your
shoes.”
The sound of his own name helped Katagiri to snap out of it. He
closed the door as ordered, set the grocery bag on the raised wooden
floor, pinned the briefcase under one arm and untied his shoes. Frog
gestured for him to take a seat at the kitchen table, which he did.
“I must apologize, Mr. Katagiri, for having barged in while you were
out,” Frog said. “I knew it would be a shock for you to find me
here. I but had no choice. How about a cup of tea? I thought you
would be coming home soon, so I boiled some water.”
Katagiri still had his briefcase jammed under his arm. Somebody’s
playing a joke on me, he thought. Somebody’s rigged himself up in
this huge frog costume just to have fun with me. But he knew, as he
watched Frog pour boiling water into the teapot, humming all the
while, that these had to be the limbs and movements of a real frog.
Frog set a cup of green tea in front of Katagiri and poured another
one for himself.
Sipping his tea, Frog asked, “Calming down?”
But still Katagiri could not speak.
“I know I should have made an appointment to visit you, Mr. .
Katagiri. I am fully aware of the proprieties. Anyone would be
shocked to find a big frog waiting for him at home. But an urgent
matter brings me here. Please forgive me.”
“Urgent matter?” Katagiri managed to produce words at last.
“Yes, indeed,” Frog said. “Why else would I take the liberty of
barging into a person’s home? Such discourtesy is not my customary
style.”
“Does this ‘matter’ have something to do with me?”
“Yes and no.” Frog said with a tilt of the head. “ No and yes.”
I’ve got to get a grip on myself thought Katagiri. “Do you mind if I
smoke?”
“Not at all, not at all,” Frog said with a smile. “It’s your home.
You don’t have to ask my permission. Smoke and drink as much as you
like. I myself am not a smoker, but I can hardly impose my distaste
for tobacco on others in their own homes.”
Katagiri pulled a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and struck
a march. He saw his hand trembling as he lit up. Seated opposite
him, Frog seemed to he studying his every movement.
“You don’t happen to be connected with some kind of gang by any
chance?” Katagiri found the courage to ask.
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What a wonderful sense of humor you have, Mr.
Katagiri!” Frog said, slapping his webbed hand against his thigh.
“There may be a shortage of skilled labor, but what gang is going to
hire a frog to do their dirty work? They’d be made a laughingstock.”
“Well, if you’re here to negotiate a repayment, you’re wasting your
time. I have no authority to make such decisions. Only my superiors
can do that, I just follow orders. I can’t do a thing for you.”
“Please, Mr. Katagiri,” Frog said, raising one webbed finger. “I
have not come here on such petty business. I am fully aware that you
are Assistant Chief of the lending division of the Shinjuku branch
of the Tokyo Security Trust Bank. But my visit has nothing to do
with the repayment of loans. I have come here to save Tokyo from
destruction.”
Katagiri scanned the room for a hidden TV camera in case he was
being made the burr of some huge, terrible joke. But there was no
camera. It was a small apartment. There was no place for anyone to
hide.
“No,” Frog said. “We are the only ones here. I know you are thinking
that I must be mad or that you are having some kind of dream, but I
am not crazy and you are not dreaming. This is absolutely,
positively serious.”
“To tell you the truth, Mr. . Frog--.”
“Please,” Frog said, raising one finger again. “Call me ‘Frog’.”
“To tell you the truth, Frog,” Katagiri said, “I can’t quite
understand what is going on here It’s not that I don’t trust you,
but I don’t seem to be able to grasp the situation exactly. Do you
mind if I ask you a question or two?”
“Not at all, not at all,” Frog said. “Mutual understanding is of
critical importance. There are those who say that ‘understanding’ is
merely the sum total of our misunderstandings, and while I do find
this view interesting in its own way, I am afraid we have no time to
spare on pleasant digressions. The best thing would be for us to
achieve mutual understanding via the shortest possible route.
Therefore, by all means, ask as many questions as you wish.”
“Now; you are a real frog, am I right?”
“Yes, of course, as you can see. A real frog is exactly what I am. A
product neither of metaphor nor allusion nor deconstruction nor
sampling nor any other such complex process, I am a genuine frog.
Shall I croak for you?”
Frog tilted back his head and flexed the muscles of his huge throat
Ribit, Ri-i-i-bit, Ribit ribit ribit Ribit Ribit Ri-i-i bit. His
gigantic croaks rattled the pictures hanging on the walls.
“Fine, I see, I see!” Katagiri said, worried about the thin walls of
the cheap apartment house in which he lived. “That’s great. You are,
without question a real frog.”
“One might also say that I am the sum total of all frogs.
Nonetheless, this does nothing to change the fact that I am a frog.
Anyone claiming that I am not a frog would be a dirty liar. I would
smash such a person to bits!”
Katagiri nodded. Hoping to calm himself, he picked up his cup and
swallowed a mouthful of tea. “You said before that you have come
here to save Tokyo from destruction?”
“That is what I said.”
“What kind of destruction?”
“Earthquake,” Frog said with the utmost gravity.
Mouth dropping open, Katagiri looked at Frog. And Frog, saying
nothing, looked at Katagiri. They went on staring at each other like
this for some time. Next it was Frog’s turn to open his mouth.
“A very, very big earthquake. It is set to strike Tokyo at 8:30 A.M.
on February 18. Three days from now. A much bigger earthquake than
the one that struck Kobe last month. The number of dead from such a
quake would probably exceed 150,000—mostly from accidents involving
the commuter system: derailments, falling vehicles, crashes, the
collapse of elevated expressways and rail lines, the crushing of
subways, the explosion of tanker trucks. Buildings will be
transformed into piles of rubble, their inhabitants crushed to
death. Fires everywhere, the road system in a stare of collapse,
ambulances and fire trucks useless, people just lying there, dying.
One hundred and fifty thousand of them! Pure hell. People will be
made to realize what a fragile condition the intensive collectivity
known as ‘city’ really is.” Frog said this with a gentle shake of
the bead. “The epicenter will be close to the Shinjuku ward office.”
“Close to the Shinjuku ward office?”
“To be precise, it will hit directly beneath the Shinjuku branch of
the Tokyo Security Trust Bank.”
A heavy silence followed.
“And you,” Katagiri said, “are planning to stop this earthquake?”
“Exactly” Frog said, nodding. “That is exactly what I propose to do.
You and I will go underground beneath the Shinjuku branch of the
Tokyo Security Trust Bank to do mortal combat with Worm.”
* * * * * *
As a member of the Trust Bank lending division, Katagiri had fought
his way through many a battle. He had weathered sixteen years of
daily combat since the day he graduated from the university and
joined the bank’s staff. He was, in a word, a collection officer-- a
post that won him little popularity. Everyone in his division
preferred to make loans, especially at the time of the bubble. They
had so much money in those days that almost any likely piece of
collateral--be it land or stock--was enough to convince loan
officers to give away whatever they were asked for, the bigger the
loan the better their reputations in the company. Some loans,
though, never made it back to the bank: They got “stuck to the
bottom of the pan.” It was Katagiri’s job to take care of those. And
when the bubble burst, the work piled on. First stock prices fell,
and then land values, and collateral lost all significance. “Get out
there,” his boss commanded him, “and squeeze whatever you can out of
them.”
The Kabukicho neighborhood of Shinjuku was a labyrinth of violence:
old-time gangsters, Korean mobsters, Chinese Mafia, guns and drugs,
money flowing beneath the surface from one murky den to another,
people vanishing every now and then like puffs of smoke. Plunging
into Kabukicho to collect a bad debt, Katagiri had been surrounded
more than once by mobsters threatening to kill him, but he had never
been frightened. What good would it have done them to kill one man
running around for the bank? They could stab him if they wanted to.
They could beat him up. He was perfect for the job: no wife, no
kids, both parents dead, a brother and sister he had put through
college married off. So what if they killed him? It wouldn’t change
anything for anybody—least of all for Katagiri himself.
It was not Katagiri but the thugs surrounding him who got nervous
when they saw him so calm and cool. He soon earned a kind of
reputation in their world as a tough guy. Now, though, the tough
Katagiri was at a total loss. What the hell was this frog talking
about?
“Worm? Who is Worm?” he asked with some hesitation.
“Worm lives underground. He is a gigantic worm. When he gets angry,
he causes earthquakes,” Frog said. “And right now he is very, very
angry.”
“What is he angry about?” Katagiri asked.
“I have no idea,” Frog said. “Nobody knows what Worm is thinking
inside that murky head of his. Few have ever seen him. He is usually
asleep. That’s what he really likes to do: take long, long naps. He
goes on sleeping for years—decades—in the warmth and darkness
underground. His eyes, as you might imagine, have atrophied, his
brain has turned to jelly as he sleeps. If you ask me, I’d guess he
probably isn’t thinking anything at all, just lying there and
feeling every little rumble and reverberation that comes his way,
absorbing them into his body and storing them up. And then, through
some kind of chemical process, he replaces most of them with rage.
Why this happens I have no idea. I could never explain it.”
Frog fell silent watching Katagiri and waiting until his words had
sunk in. Then he went on: “Please don’t misunderstand me, though. I
feel no personal animosity toward Worm. I don’t see him as the
embodiment of evil. Not that I would want to be his friend, either:
I just think that as far as the world is concerned, it is, in a
sense, all right for a being like him to exist. The world is like a
great big overcoat, and it needs pockets of various shapes and
sizes. But right at the moment, Worm has reached the point where he
is too dangerous to ignore. With all the different kinds of hatred
he has absorbed and stored inside himself over the years, his heart
and body have swollen to gargantuan proportions—bigger than ever
before. And to make matters worse, last month’s Kobe earthquake
shook him out of the deep sleep he was enjoying. He experienced a
revelation inspired by his profound rage: It was time now for him,
too, to cause a massive earthquake, and he’d do it here, in Tokyo. I
know what I’m talking about, Mr. Katagiri: I have received reliable
information on the timing and scale of the earthquake from some of
my best bug friends.”
Frog snapped his mouth shut and closed his round eyes in apparent
fatigue.
“So what you’re saying is,” Katagiri said, “that you and I have to
go underground together and fight Worm to stop the earthquake.”
“Exactly.”
Katagiri reached for his cup of tea, picked it up and put it back.
“I still don’t get it,” he said. “Why did you choose me to go with
you?”
Frog looked straight into Katagiri’s eyes and said “I have always
had the profoundest respect for you, Mr. Katagiri. For sixteen long
years, you have silently accepted the most dangerous, least
glamorous assignments—the jobs that others have avoided—and you have
carried them off beautifully. I know full well how difficult this
has been for you, and I do not believe that either your superiors or
your colleagues properly appreciate your accomplishments. They are
blind, the whole lot of them. But you, unappreciated and unpromoted,
have never once complained.
“Nor is it simply a matter of your work. After your parents died you
raised your teenage brother and sister single-handedly, put them
through college and even arranged for them to marry, all at great
sacrifice of your time and income, and at the expense of your own
marriage prospects. In spite of this, your brother and sister have
never once expressed gratitude for your efforts on their behalf. Far
from it. They have shown you no respect and acted with the most
callous disregard for your loving kindness. In my opinion, their
behavior is unconscionable. I almost wish I could beat them to a
pulp on your behalf. But you, meanwhile, show no trace of anger.
“To be quite honest, Mr. Katagiri, you are nothing much to look at,
and you are far from eloquent, so you tend to be looked down upon by
those around you. I, however, can see what a sensible and courageous
man you are. In all of Tokyo, with its teeming millions, there is no
one else I could trust as much as you to fight by my side.”
“Tell me, Mr. Frog,” Katagiri said.
“Please,” Frog said, raising one finger again. “Call me ‘Frog’.”
“Tell me, Frog,” Katagiri said, “how do you know so much about me?”
‘Well, Mr. Katagiri, I have not been frogging all these years for
nothing. I keep my eye on the important things in life.”
“But still, Frog,” Katagiri said. “I’m not particularly strong, and
I don’t know anything about what’s happening underground. I don’t
have the kind of muscle it will take to fight Worm in the darkness.
I’m sure you can find somebody a lot stronger than me—a man who does
karate, say, or a Self-Defense Forces commando.”
Frog rolled his large eyes. “Tell you the truth, Mr. Katagiri,” he
said, “I’m the one who will do all the fighting. But I can’t do it
alone. This is the key thing: I need your courage and your passion
for justice. I need you to stand behind me and say, ‘Way to go,
Frog! You’re doing great! I know you can win! You’re fighting the
good fight!’”
Frog opened his arms wide, then slapped his webbed hands down on his
knees again.
“In all honesty, Mr. Katagiri, the thought of fighting Worm in the
dark frightens me, too. For many years I lived as a pacifist, loving
art, living with nature. Fighting is not something I like to do. I
do it because I have to. And this particular fight will be a fierce
one; that is certain. I may not return from it alive. I may lose a
limb or two in the process. But I cannot—I will not-run away. As
Nietzsche said, the highest wisdom is to have no fear. What I want
from you, Mr. Katagiri, is for you to share your simple courage with
me, to support me with your whole heart as a true friend. Do you
understand what I am trying to tell you?”
None of this made any sense to Katagiri, but still he felt
that—unreal as it sounded—he could believe whatever Frog said to
him. Something about Frog—the look on his face, the way he spoke—had
a simple honesty that appealed directly to the heart. After years of
work in the toughest division of the Security Trust Bank, Katagiri
possessed the ability to sense such things. It was all but second
nature to him.
“I know this must be difficult for you, Mr. Katagiri. A huge frog
comes barging into your place and asks you to believe all these
outlandish things. Your reaction is perfectly natural. And so I
intend to provide you with proof that I exist. Tell me, Mr.
Katagiri: you have been having a great deal of trouble recovering a
loan the bank made to Big Bear Trading, have you not?”
“That’s true,” Katagiri said.
“Well, they have a number of extortionist working behind the scenes,
and those individuals are mixed up with the mobsters. They’re
scheming to make the company go bankrupt and get out of its debts.
Your bank’s loan officer shoved a pile of cash at them without a
decent background check, and, as usual, the one who’s left to clean
up after him is you, Mr. Katagiri. But you’re having a hard time
sinking your teeth into these fellows: They’re no pushovers. And
there may be a powerful politician backing them up. They’re into you
for 700 million. That is the situation you are dealing with, am I
right?”
“You certainly are.”
Frog stretched his arms out wide, his big green webs opening like
pale wings. “Don’t worry, Mr. Katagiri. Leave everything to me. By
tomorrow morning, old Frog will have your problems solved. Relax and
have a good night’s sleep.”
With a big smile on his face, Frog stood up. Then, flattening
himself like a dried squid, he slipped out through the gap at the
side of the closed door, leaving Katagiri all alone. The two teacups
on the kitchen table were the only indication that Frog had ever
been in Katagiri’s apartment.
* * * * * *
The moment Katagiri arrived at work the next morning at nine, the
phone on his desk rang.
“Mr. Katagiri,” said a man’s voice. It was cold and businesslike.
“My name is Shiraoka. I’m an attorney with the Big Bear case. I
received a call from my client this morning with regard to the
pending loan matter. He wants you to know that he will take full
responsibility for returning the entire amount requested, by the due
date. He will also give you a signed memorandum to that effect. His
only request is that you do not send Frog to his home again. I
repeat: He wants you to ask Frog never to visit his home again. I’m
not entirely sure what this is supposed to mean, but I believe it
should be clear to you, Mr. Katagiri. Am I correct?”
“You are indeed.” Katagiri said.
“You will be kind enough to convey my message to Frog, I trust.”
“That I will do. Your client will never see Frog again.”
“Thank you very much. I will prepare the memorandum for you by
tomorrow.”
“I appreciate it,” Katagiri said.
The connection was cut.
Frog visited Katagiri in his Trust Bank office at lunchtime. “I
assume that Big Bear case is working out well for you?”
Katagiri glanced around uneasily.
“Don’t worry,” Frog said. “You are the only one who can see me. But
now I am sure you realize I actually exist. I am not a product of
your imagination. I can take action and produce results. I am a
living being.”
“Tell me, Mr. Frog,” Katagiri said.
“Please,” Frog said, raising one finger, “call me ‘Frog.’”
“Tell me, Frog,” Katagiri said. “What did you do to them?”
“Oh, nothing much,” Frog said. “Nothing much more complicated than
boiling Brussels sprouts. I just gave them a little scare. A touch
of psychological terror. As Joseph Conrad once wrote, true terror is
the kind that men feel toward their imagination. But never mind
that, Mr. . . Katagiri. Tell me about the Big Bear case. It is
working out well, I assume?”
Katagiri nodded and lit a cigarette. “Seems to be.”
“So, then, have I succeeded in gaining your trust with regard to the
matter I broached to you last night? Will you join me to fight
against Worm?”
Sighing, Katagiri removed his glasses and wiped them. “To tell you
the truth, I am not too crazy about the idea, but I don’t suppose
that’s enough to get me out of it.”
“No,” Frog said. “It is a matter of responsibility and honor. You
may not be ‘too crazy’ about the idea, but we have no choice: You
and I must go underground and face Worm. If we should happen to lose
our lives in the process, we will gain no one’s sympathy. And even
if we manage to defeat Worm, no one will praise us. No one will ever
know that such a battle even raged far beneath their feet. Only you
and I will know, Mr. Katagiri. However it turns out, ours will be a
lonely battle.”
Katagiri looked at his own hand for a while, then watched the smoke
rising from his cigarette. Finally, he spoke. “You know Mr. Frog,
I’m just an ordinary person.”
“Make that ‘Frog,’ please,” Frog said, but Katagiri let it go.
“I’m an absolutely ordinary guy. Less than ordinary. I’m going bald,
I’m getting a potbelly, I turned 40 last month. My feet are flat.
The doctor told me recently that I have diabetic tendencies. It’s
been three months or more since I last slept with a woman—and I had
to pay for it. I do get some recognition within the division for my
ability to collect on loans, but no real respect. I don’t have a
single person who likes me, either at work or in my private life. I
don’t know how to talk to people, and I’m bad with strangers, so I
never make friends. I have no athletic ability, I’m tone-deaf,
short, phimotic, nearsighted—and astigmatic. I live a horrible life.
All I do is eat, s1eep and shit. I don’t know why I’m even living.
Why should a person like me have to be the one to save Tokyo?”
“Because, Mr.. Katagiri, Tokyo can only be saved by a person like
you. And it’s for people like you that I am tying to save Tokyo.”
Katagiri sighed again, more deeply this time. “All right, then, what
do you want me to do?”
* * * * * *
Frog told Katagiri his plan. They would go underground on the night
of February 17 (one day before the earthquake was scheduled to
happen). Their way in would be through the basement boiler room of
the Shinjuku branch of the Tokyo Security Trust Bank. They would
meet there late at night (Katagiri would stay in the building on the
pretext of working overtime). Behind a section of wall was a
vertical shaft, and they would find Worm at the bottom by climbing
down a 150-foot rope ladder.
“Do you have a battle plan in mind?” Katagiri asked.
“Of course I do. We would have no hope of defeating an enemy like
Worm without a battle plan. He is a slimy creature: You can’t tell
his mouth from his anus. And he is as big as a commuter train.”
“What is your battle plan?”
After a thoughtful pause Frog answered, “Hmm, what is it they
say—’Silence is golden?”
“You mean I shouldn’t ask?”
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“What if I get scared at the last minute and run away? Whet would
you do then, Mr. Frog?”
“‘Frog’.”
“Frog. What would you do then?”
Frog thought about this awhile and answered, “I would fight on
alone. My chances of beating him by myself are perhaps just slightly
better than Anna Karenina’s chances of beating that speeding
locomotive. Have you read Anna Karenina, Mr.. Katagiri?”
When he heard that Katagiri had not read the novel, Frog gave him a
look as if to say “What a shame.” Apparently, Frog was very fond of
Anna Karenina.
“Still, Mr. Katagiri, I do not believe that you will leave me to
fight alone. I can tell. It’s a question of balls—which,
unfortunately, I do not happen to possess. Ha ha ha ha.” Frog
laughed with his mouth wide open. Balls were not all that Frog
lacked. He had no teeth either.
* * * * * *
Unexpected things do happen, however.
Katagiri was shot on the evening of February 17. He had finished his
rounds for the day and was walking down the street in Shinjuku on
his way back to the Trust Bank when a young man in a leather jacket
leaped in front of him. The man’s face was a blank, and be gripped a
small black gun in one hand. The gun was so small and so black that
it hardly looked real. Katagiri stared at the object in the man’s
hand, not registering the fact that it was aimed at him and that the
man was pulling the trigger. It all happened too quickly: It didn’t
make sense to him. But the gun, in fact, went off.
Katagiri saw the barrel jerk in the air and, at the same moment,
felt an impact as though someone had struck his right shoulder with
a sledgehammer. He felt no pain, but the blow sent him sprawling on
the sidewalk. The leather briefcase in his right hand went flying in
the other direction. The man aimed the gun at him again. A second
shot rang out. A small eatery’s sidewalk signboard exploded before
his eyes. He heard people screaming. His glasses had flown off, and
everything was a blur. He was vaguely aware that the man was
approaching with the pistol pointed at him. I’m going to die, he
thought. Frog had said that true terror is the kind men feel toward
their imagination.
Katagiri cut the switch of his imagination and sank into a
weightless silence.
* * * * * *
When he woke up, he was in bed. He opened one eye, took a moment to
survey his surroundings and then opened the other eye. The first
thing that entered his field of vision was a metal stand by the head
of the bed and an intravenous feeding tube that stretched from the
stand to where he lay. Next he saw a nurse dressed in white. He
realized he was lying on his back on a hard bed and wearing some
strange piece of clothing under which he seemed to be naked.
Oh yeah, he thought, I was walking along the sidewalk when some guy
shot me. Probably in the shoulder. The right one. He relived the
scene in his mind. When he remembered the small black gun in the
young man’s hand, his heart made a disturbing thump. The sons of
bitches were trying to kill me! he thought. But it looks as if I
made it through OK. My memory is fine. I don’t have any pain. And
not just pain: I don’t have any feeling at all. I can’t lift my
arm…..
The hospital room had no windows. He could not tell whether it was
day or night. He had been shot just before five in the evening. How
much time had passed since then? Had the hour of his nighttime
rendezvous with Frog gone by? Katagiri searched the room for a
clock, but without his glasses he could see nothing at a distance.
“Excuse me,” he called to the nurse.
“Oh, good. You’re finally awake,” the nurse said.
“What time is it?”
She glanced at her watch.
“Nine-fifteen.”
“P.M.?”
“Don’t be silly; it’s morning!”
“Nine-fifteen A.M.?” Katagiri groaned, barely managing to lift his
head from the pillow. The ragged noise that emerged from his throat
sounded like someone else’s voice. “Nine-fifteen A.M. on February
18?”
“Right,” the nurse said, lifting her arm once more to check the date
on her digital watch. “Today is February 18, 1995.”
“Wasn’t there a big earthquake in Tokyo this morning?”
“In Tokyo?”
“In Tokyo.”
The nurse shook her head. “Not as far as I know.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever had happened, the earthquake
at least had been averted.
“How’s my wound doing?”
“Your wound?” she asked. “What wound?”
“Where I was shot.”
“Shot?”
“Yeah, near the entrance to the Trust Bank. Some young guy shot me.
In the right shoulder, I think.”
The nurse flashed a nervous smile in his direction. “I’m sorry, Mr.
Katagiri, but you haven’t been shot.”
“I haven’t? Are you sure?”
“As sure as I am that there was no earthquake this morning.”
Katagiri was stunned. “Then what the hell am I doing in a hospital?”
“Somebody found you lying in the street, unconscious. In the
Kabukicho neighborhood of Shinjuku. You didn’t have any external
wounds. You were just out cold. And we still haven’t figured out
why. The doctor’s going to be here soon. You’d better talk to him.”
Lying in the street unconscious? Katagiri was sure he had seen the
pistol go off, aimed at him. He took a deep breath and tried to get
his head straight. He would start by putting all the facts in order.
“What you’re telling me is, I’ve been lying in this hospital bed,
unconscious, since early evening yesterday, is that right?”
“Right,” the nurse said. “And you had a really bad night, Mr.
Katagiri. You must have had some awful nightmares. I heard you
yelling, ‘Frog! Hey, Frog!’ You did it a lot. You have a friend
nicknamed Frog?”
Katagiri closed his eyes and listened to the slow, rhythmic beating
of his heart as it ticked off the minutes of his life. How much of
what he remembered had actually happened and how much was
hallucination? Did Frog really exist, and had Frog fought with Worm
to put a stop to the earthquake? Or had that just been part of a
long dream? Katagiri had no idea what was true anymore.
* * * * * *
Frog came to his hospital room that night. Katagiri awoke to find
him in the dim light, sitting on a steel folding chair, his back
against the wall. Frog’s big, bulging eyelids were closed in
straight slits.
“Frog,” Katagiri called out to him.
Frog slowly opened his eyes. His big white stomach swelled and
shrank with his breathing. “I meant to meet you in the boiler room
at night the way I promised,” Katagiri said, “but I had an accident
in the evening--something totally unexpected--and they brought me
here.”
Frog gave his head a slight shake. “I know. It’s OK. Don’t worry.
You were a great help to me in my fight, Mr. Katagiri.”
“I was?”
“Yes, you were. You did a great job in your dreams. That’s what made
it possible for me to fight Worm to the finish. I have you to thank
for my victory.”
“I don’t get it,” Katagiri said. “I was unconscious the whole time.
They were feeding me intravenously. I don’t remember doing anything
in my dream.”
“That’s fine, Mr. Katagiri. It’s better that you don’t remember. The
whole terrible fight occurred in the area of imagination. That is
the precise location of our battlefield. It is there that we
experience our victories and our defeats. Each and every on of us is
a being of limited duration: All of us eventually go down to defeat.
But as Ernest Hemingway saw so clearly, the ultimate value of our
lives is decided not by how we win but by how we lose. You and I
together, Mr. Katagiri, were able to prevent the annihilation of
Tokyo. We saved 150,000 people from the jaws of death. No one
realizes it, but that is what we accomplished.”
“How did we manage to defeat Worm? And what did I do?”
“We gave everything we had in a fight to the bitter end. We--” Frog
snapped his mouth shut and took one great breath. “We used every
weapon we could get our hands on, Mr. Katagiri. We used all the
courage we could muster. Darkness was our enemy’s ally. You brought
in a foot-powered generator and used every ounce of your strength to
fill the place with light. Worm tried to frighten you away with
phantoms of the darkness, but you stood your ground. Darkness vied
with light in a horrific battle, and in the light I grappled with
the monstrous Worm. He coiled himself around me and bathed me in his
horrid slime. I tore him to shreds, but still he refused to die. All
he did was divide into smaller pieces. And then...”
Frog fell silent, but soon, as if dredging up his last ounce of
strength, he began to speak again. “Fyodor Dostoevsky, with
unparalleled tenderness, depicted those who have been forsaken by
God. He discovered the precious quality of human existence in the
ghastly paradox whereby men who have invented God were forsaken by
that very God. Fighting with Worm in the darkness, I found myself
thinking of Dotoevsky’s ‘White Knights.’ I...” Frog’s words seemed
to founder. “Mr. Katagiri, do you mind if I take a brief nap? I am
utterly exhausted.”
“Please,” Katagiri said. “Take a good, deep sleep.”
“I was finally unable to defeat Worm,” Frog said, closing his eyes.
“I did manage to stop the earthquake, but I was only able to carry
our battle to a draw. I inflicted injury on him, and he on me. But
to tell you the truth, Mr. Katagiri...”
“What is it, Frog?”
“I am, indeed, pure Frog, but at the same time I am a thing that
stands for a world of un-Frog.”
“Hmm, I don’t get that at all.”
“Neither do I,” Frog said, his eyes still closed. “It’s just a
feeling I have. What you see with your eyes is not necessarily real.
My enemy is, among other things, the me inside me. Inside me is the
un-me. My brain is growing murky. The locomotive is coming. But I
really want you to understand what I am saying, Mr. Katagiri.”
“You’re tired, Frog. Go to sleep. You’ll get better.”
“I am slowly returning to the murk, Mr. Katagiri. And yet...I...”
Frog lost his grasp on words and slipped into a coma. His arms hung
down almost to the floor, and his big, wide mouth drooped open.
Straining to focus his eyes, Katagiri was able to make out deep cuts
covering Frog’s entire body. Discolored streaks ran through his
skin, and there was a sunken spot on his head where the flesh had
been torn away.
Katagiri stared long and hard at Frog, who sat there now wrapped in
the thick cloak of sleep. As soon as I get out of this hospital, he
thought, I’ll buy Anna Karenina and “White Nights” and read them
both. Then I’ll have a nice, long literary discussion about them
with Frog.
Before long, Frog began to twitch all over. Katagiri assumed at
first that these were just normal involuntary movements in sleep,
but he soon realized his mistake. There was something unnatural
about the way Frog’s body went on jerking, like a big doll being
shaken by someone from behind. Katagiri held his breath and watched.
He wanted to run over to Frog, but his own body remained paralyzed.
After a while, a big lump formed over Frog’s right eye. The same
kind of huge, ugly boil broke out on Frog’s shoulder and side and
then over his whole body. Katagiri could not imagine what was
happening to Frog. He stared at the spectacle, barely breathing.
Then, all of a sudden, one of the boils burst with a loud pop. The
skin flew off, and a sticky liquid oozed out, sending a horrible
smell across the room. The rest of the boils started popping, one
after another, twenty or thirty in all, flinging skin and fluid onto
the walls. The sickening, unbearable smell filled the hospital room.
Big black holes were left on Frog’s body where the boils had burst,
and wriggling, maggot-like worms of all shapes and sizes came
crawling out. Puffy white maggots. After them emerged some kind of
small, centipede-like creatures, whose hundreds of legs made a
creepy rustling sound. An endless stream of these things came
crawling out of the holes. Frog’s body--or the thing that had once
been Frog’s body--was totally covered by these creatures of the
night. His two big eyeballs fell from their sockets onto the floor,
where they were devoured by black bugs with strong jaws. Crowds of
slimy worms raced each other up the walls to the ceiling, where they
covered the fluorescent lights and burrowed into the smoke alarm.
The floor, too, was covered with worms and bugs. They climbed up the
lamp and blocked the light, and, of course, they crept onto
Katagiri’s bed. Hundreds of them came burrowing under the covers.
They crawled up his legs, under his bed gown, between his thighs.
The smallest worms and maggots crawled inside his anus and ears and
nostrils. Centipedes pried open his mouth and crawled inside, one
after another. Filled with an intense despair, Katagiri screamed.
Someone snapped a switch and light filled the room.
“Mr. Katagiri!” called the nurse. Katagiri opened his eyes to the
light. His body was soaked in sweat. The bugs were gone. All they
had left behind in him was a horrible, slimy sensation.
“Another bad dream, eh? Poor dear.” With quick, efficient movements,
the nurse readied an injection and stabbed the needle into his arm.
He took a long, deep breath and let it out. His heart was expanding
and contracting violently.
“What were you dreaming about?”
Katagiri was having trouble differentiating dream from reality.
“What you see with your eyes is not necessarily real,” he told
himself aloud.
“That’s so true,” the nurse said with a smile. “Especially where
those dreams are concerned.”
“Frog,” he murmured.
“Did something happen to Frog?” she asked.
“He saved Tokyo from being destroyed by an earthquake. All by
himself.”
“That’s nice,” the nurse said, replacing his near-empty
intravenous-feeding bottle with a new one. “We don’t need any more
awful things happening in Tokyo. We have plenty already.”
“But it cost him his life. He’s gone. I think he went back to the
murk. He’ll never come here again.”
Smiling, the nurse toweled the sweat from his forehead. “You were
very fond of Frog, weren’t you, Katagiri?”
“Locomotive,” Katagiri mumbled. “More than anybody.” Then he closed
his eyes and sank into a restful, dreamless sleep.